Explaining Evolution in terms Bible-thumpers Can Understand

An open response to Christians who argue that evolution can’t be correct because their translation of the Bible doesn’t use the word “evolution”:

(Quotes are from the New International Version, simply because it was the first return in my search)

You think that because the word doesn’t appear in a 1,500-word narrative (Genesis 1 & 2, give or take your translation) means it isn’t happening? That’s like saying that the (original) Constitution didn’t mention slaves, so slavery must not have existed!

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth . . . 3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. . .—the first day.

6 And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters . . . —the second day. 

.And God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear.”—the third day.

Notice He’s making the next day from the results of the previous day; in other words,  the world is evolving.

20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.”. . .” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.

Evolution says life began in the seas. Evolution and the Bible are in agreement.

24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.”

Anything here that says God didn’t make them out of what came before?

29 Then God said, “I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food.

So, if you’re taking the Bible at face value, that means hemlock tea and rhubarb leaves are good to eat, right? Oh, now you’re not taking the Bible at face value?

As to the “How old is the Earth?” question, I leave you with this tale (author unknown):

One day God is walking on Earth and a man approaches him.
Man: “Hey God, isn’t 1 million years like a second to you?”
God: “Hm, that’s pretty accurate. 1 million years is like a second to me”
Man: “Then 1 million dollars would be like… a penny to you, wouldn’t it?”
God: “Yes, a million dollars would be like a penny to me.”
Man: “Can I have a penny as it means to you?”
God: “Sure. Just a sec.”

(Bottom line: If the Bible didn’t mention “evolution,” it definitely never said the “day” of Genesis was 24 hours as we measure “hours” today. According to this joke, God needed 518.4 billion years to make the world.)

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